


Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?

by montes-carpatus (Carpathyah)



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, Reference to Substance Abuse, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2014-05-06
Packaged: 2018-01-23 19:19:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1576601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carpathyah/pseuds/montes-carpatus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray watched his cell phone buzz on the night table. Watching the light for his voicemail light up. Maybe he wasn’t under the influence this time. He was wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?

**Author's Note:**

> Based off the song: Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High? by the Arctic Monkeys

The room spun around like a carousel around his head. He held onto the rim of the sink, feeling the cold ceramic in his hot hands. He saw the faucet zoom in and out of vision. He turned on the cold water and splashed some on his face. It shook his system a little but not much at all. How many did he drink? Six? Seven? Eleven? He didn’t remember, and it might’ve been the last thing on his mind. His jeans felt too tight and his hoodie was making him sweat. What time was it? Midnight? Later? Earlier?

Where’s Ray? Did Ray even show up that night? JJ leaned against the wall, going through his pockets for his cell phone. The light was bright and he searched for any messages. Nothing. Was he still in the bar? He decided he should go go back. He wanted his Ray beside him at that moment. He wanted his stability to hold his hand and bring him home. He wanted to apologize for not being next to him.

He stumbled out of the bathroom. He thought if the hallway was always that long and if the stairs back up to the bar were so steep. Was his shoelace untied? He finally made it back up, going through the crowd of people. Was it him that smelled like that? He sniffed his sweater and the stench burned his nose. It felt great but the mix wasn’t doing him any good.

“Ray?!” he shouted. No reply. The music was too loud anyways but he tried a few more times. Finally, he walked out of the bar. Feeling the cold air against his skin. He saw a pair of red sneakers from across the street. Was it Ray? He couldn’t tell. Cab. He needs to call a cab. He needs to get home. He’ll call Ray up when he’s home. Home is where he needed to be.

“Where would it be kid?” the taxi driver asked. He said his address. Or did he say Ray’s? He doesn’t remember. His heart is beating quickly in his chest as he watches the battery to his cell phone die. God, he was in love with Ray. He was giggling to himself.

How did he get into his apartment? The bed looks comfortable, but there’s no Ray in it to share it. Oh, God, Ray. His face filled his mind and he could almost feel him beside him. He could almost remember when he first kissed Ray. Alone at the office. Ray tasted like Dr. Pepper. Ring Ring Ring. No answer.

“Hello Ray, this is JJ, just thinking about you, call me back okay?”

He’ll call back in five minutes. Tick. Tock.

“Hello, Ray? Yeah, it’s me again. … Just, call me back okay? I miss you.”

A smoke might be forgiving as he waited for him to call back.

“Ray, I miss you a lot. The bed’s not the same without you.” Click.

Ring ring ring. His heart almost came out of his throat when he answered his phone, almost pulling the charger out of the wall.

“JJ?” Ray’s voice on the other end.

“Yeah, hey, sorry,”

“You never call. Are you high again? Or drunk?”

“Yeah, no, I mean, a little,”

“Why do you only ever call me when you’re high?”

“I-I don’t know. I need you here. Really.”

“Yeah, you do.”

Ray hung up. He’s been doing that a lot lately. He couldn’t blame him. He needs to sleep anyways.

Why does it smell like coffee? His head is spinning again but it’s making him sick and his stomach is doing back flips. He should get up though. The blinds were tightly shut so he was thankful for the lack of sunlight creeping into his room. It’s a Sunday and he should be going out for a photo shoot that afternoon. The camera was tucked out in the carrying case in the corner of the room. He had to charge the battery, he left it on last time. It would take a few hours.

“JJ, I hear you,” it was Ray. His voice could soothe his spinning head. His body didn’t want to get up with his head. Ray entered the room with a glass of water and some Ibuprofen. JJ turned onto his back and forced himself to sit up straight. Ray’s hand on his back is comforting as he gave him the pills and the glass. “Relax now. No need to rush.”

The pills helped of course, so does the mug of coffee that Ray prepared. 

Ray doesn’t stick around for long. He’s gone by noon. JJ was left to heal and shower by himself. Maybe next weekend will be different. He lit a cigarette as he walked out of the apartment complex with his sunglasses on. He’ll eat later. After this shoot.  

Ray was on his mind like a disease. He made a fool out of himself last night, on the phone. Ray came over again and took care of him. Did Ray care? Was he losing Ray forever? He shouldn’t think like that but his grip on Ray was slowly disappearing. Ray wasn’t one for Saturday night parties with two bottles of tequila. He rather be at home having a soda while playing a video game. He had brought him out before. A night or two. He would order Sprite or Coca-Cola while JJ had a few beers or more. He was high before they got there. Ray hated the smell as much as he hated JJ’s cigarette habit.

JJ loved Ray. He loved his face. His quirky personality and how friendly he was. It was like the sun falling for the moon and by god, he wanted him to warm his face. He could kiss him every day if he could but Ray didn’t like the taste of tobacco. He would chew gum for half an hour, until his tongue burned so he could kiss him. Then Ray would get lost in him and he forgot that he was kissing smoking JJ.

A kiss turned into sex, in Ray’s apartment on Thursday night. Completely sober. Not a drop or hint of substance in his veins; only lust. Their skin mixed in shades of cafe lattes. Ray’s touches were needy and he replied to every, last, one, of his desires. He wanted to hear Ray call his name. He wanted to feel Ray’s back arch under him. His glasses were no where nearby and he could see his brown eyes almost turn into his head. No tattoos, no scars tainted his skin. Only his teeth can leave non-permanent marks along his neck. He would make his own tattoos on his skin.

He felt like he was in a dream, waking up to Ray next to him. Naked. Vulnerable. Just the way he liked him. His skin was hot and he hoped it stayed that way around him.

“I’m going out tonight.”

“You have to be up in the morning, be home early,” Ray warned him as he watched JJ get dressed that evening. Leather jacket draped over his shoulders over a band t-shirt. He felt sharp. Ray was on the sofa, casually playing a game on JJ’s Xbox.

“Yeah, sure,” JJ replied. The air was cool when he walked out of the complex to meet his friends at the bar. One drink. Two drinks. Two smokes. Six drinks. He should go back home to Ray now. Did Ray go home? Or was he waiting for him? Maybe he should call. Maybe he should call.

“Hello? Ray? You home?”

No answer. Was he asleep? Maybe he’s alone, he should invite him out. It’s not too late. They can for for another hour or two.

“Ray? Want to come out with me?”

Nothing.

“Hey, Ray, I’m sorry, I’m sorry for this. I’m sorry for waking you up. I’m really drunk right now. I’m coming home okay? I’ll call a cab. …”

He picked up. JJ had sweat dripping down the side of his face despite the cool air of the night. People were passing him on the sidewalk as he spoke loudly.

“It’s three am. JJ, why do you only ever call me when you’re drunk and high? Am I only worth that much to you?”

“N-No! No! Ray, listen to me, you mean the world to me. I-I should call more often! I promise I will. I’ll call every day…”

“Just, come home,” Ray replied.

“I am.”

He hung up and ran in the middle of the street to catch a cab. Almost getting hit a few times. They honked at him. A drunkard in the streets. What a sight to see. He was able to get one, finally.

He ran up the stairs. Almost slipping on a few steps. The stairs weren’t responding to his needs. Was the door unlocked? Did he take off his shoes? It’s his house anyways. Ray was in bed, sitting up and looking at his phone. He was yawning. JJ threw that leather jacket across the room and wrapped his arms around Ray. Ray smelled of mint. He smelled of beer and cigarettes. For that night, it didn’t matter. He was drunk. He wouldn’t remember it in the morning. Did Ray always sleep naked? Say my name.

Ray took it. Any ounce of love from JJ was worth it. Needy JJ was his favourite. How clumsy he was. How sensitive he was. How he left more lubricant on his hand than his dick. How there was now a slimy handprint on his white wall. They have work in the morning. They have to be up in two hours. Maybe call in sick? Can’t. Ray has that thing he does.

JJ is losing Ray. Ray isn’t responding. They don’t kiss as often. Hold on harder. Maybe he won’t go out anymore. Maybe he should give it up. Toss his packets of cigarettes in the garbage and clean up his look. No. Keep the leather jackets and band t-shirts. Ray seems to love that. He hated any substance. He’ll clean himself up. He’ll love him more. Love was important. Love was magical when his mind didn’t spin or his heart didn’t beat harder than the drummer in his favourite band. Love was more than phone calls at three in the morning he didn’t remember making. He did remember Ray always being there for him when the nights were fogged up like the VIP room at the bar. His senses heightened though and touching Ray was like touching a physical dream. A dream of dark skin and black hair. A dream that was reality. Reality wasn’t like a dream, he couldn’t make Ray like his tastes. Ray loved him, but love was dying when the only thing keeping him around was when the house phone was unplugged and service sucked inside the bar. His voice sang through the receiver like a phone sex operator. Ready to please.

He was running out of time. The clocks ticked down until Ray was leaving. He’s going to pause those clocks for one night. Drain the tequila down the sink. Throw the evidence down the toilet. He’ll kiss Ray with the sober lips he dreams of. He’ll take Ray and say those three words he couldn’t say when his blood was clear. Maybe he’ll stay. He wants him to stay.

_“Why’d you only call me when you’re high?”_

Love was more. He needed more. He had to give more to receive more. Ray. Please. Answer me tonight. Answer me when it’s all gone. I’m giving it all up for you. Stay with me. Ring ring. Don’t leave me to talk to your robotic voice on the answering machine. It’s a machine. A machine that had captured your voice in thirty seconds.

_“Why’d you only call me when you’re high?”_

I’ll call you tonight.

_Ring ring. Ring ring._

“Hello? JJ?” Ray answered first try. “Hey, you alright?”

“Yeah, Ray, we need to talk.”  


End file.
